GMIM: Coffee, Hockey, and Steve

Welcome to another installment of Good mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…

Starbucks vs Me

Yesterday morning, I get into the office a little early. First and foremost, early in the office on a Sunday is the working man’s move. Early bird gets the worm, but the hawk eats the little bird. Or something like that.

Anywho, I figured I’d stop at the Starbucks downstairs to grab some morning caffeine to get my Sunday started. It’s been out for a little, but the Unicorn Frappuccino advertisement was just staring at me from the behind the counter and figured “why not?” I’ll give it a try, see what the buzz is about.

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So I head up and ask for one of these cups of fairy vomit and I’m told, “Sorry, we’re out of the stuff needed for it.” Understandable. These stupid things have been flying off the shelves left and right. The Starbucks back home had a sign saying the Unicorns had gone extinct. So with that, I get the usual Venti Caramel Macchiato.

I get to the office, sit down, and a co-worker asks if anyone wants anything from the ‘Bucks. Only 10 minutes later, he comes up with a hot coffee and a UNICORN FRAPPUCCINO, the exact drink they “didn’t have the ingredients for.”

These popular drinks have been the center of frustration for baristas across the Starbucks of this great nation. Reuters posted an article on baristas becoming angry with this drink, calling it the “frap from hell.”

Here’s the kicker, folks: it was only available until yesterday. Yup, just like that, I get rejected and won’t be having one of these beverages until…who knows.

So here’s the deal, Starbucks: we’re on a break. Just like the basic teenage white betches who take selfies in your stupid coffee shops, I’m, like, literally heartbroken. I don’t know if it was the fact I came in wearing sweatpants like chump, or if my coworker’s handsome charm swayed you over, but clearly if you don’t want me, then I don’t want you. I’ll just convince myself that Dunks knows how to make macchiatos until you get jealous.*

*Or when I break and need my caffeine fix again. I can’t quit you, venti caramel macchiato.

A tradition unlike any other: Jumbo Joe Thornton is out of the Stanley Cup Playoffs

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With a pair of Game 6 overtime games last night, the first round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs has concluded. The Capitals knocked out the Maple Leafs 2-1 to set up a Penguins/Caps match-up, while the Senators topped the Bruins 3-2 to square up against the Rangers. On the West side, either Nashville or St. Louis will meet the winner of the Ducks and Oilers series.

Getting lost in this exciting postseason is the NHL’s greatest guarantee behind the team handshake: Joe Thornton’s early exit from the playoffs.

Aside from Alexander Ovechkin, Joe Thornton might be the most talented active player to not win the cup, especially for someone who’s been in the league for so long. Nearly 20 years ago, Jumbo Joe joined the Boston Bruins and was seen as the next superstar player for a franchise that boasted names like Orr, Bourque, and Neely. Although Thornton’s talent was clearly evident, injuries got to Jumbo Joe and so did Bruins management. Unhappy with upper management, coaching, and criticism, Joe Thornton was traded to the San Jose Sharky Sharks. He would win the Hart Trophy as the league’s MVP, the only player in history to win the award while playing for two different teams in a season.

Thornton would notch a career-high 114 points in the 2006-07 season, his first full season with San Jose. The next year , Thornton would score 29 goals, his most in a Sharks uniform. But after the 2007-08 season, Thornton was no longer a scoring threat and established himself as one of the league’s best passers, consistently putting up around 60 assists a season.

Yet throughout his period of individual success, Jumbo Joe and the Sharks have yet to win the Stanley Cup. Year after year, it was a successful regular season campaign, followed by a first or second round exit. Last season, the Sharks made it to their first ever Stanley Cup Final, and it seemed like Joe would finally get to hoist the cup. But when you face Sidney Crosby and the Pittsburgh Penguins, that’s not exactly a given. San Jose would fall in six games.

Coming off last year’s success, it seemed the Sharks would be poised for another run. But the team was exactly dominant and Thornton put up 50 points this season, his lowest since his first full season in 1998-99 when he notched just 41. San Jose ran into the up-and-coming Edmonton Oilers, who took care of business in six games.

Thornton and teammate Patrick Marleau are set to become free agents, and fellow Shark Logan Couture wants them both back, but both players are 37-years-old and are clearly past their primes. I’d personally like to see Thornton join a talented team to chase a Cup, but it’s unpredictable in the NHL, especially when teams like Chicago are getting swept out of the first round by Nashville.

I’m a big fan of Thornton, but I’m a bigger fan of winning bets. My friend and his father laugh in my face whenever I claim that Joe Thornton will win a Cup. I thought last year would be my chance to laugh right back, but that didn’t exactly work out so well.

Another bet is that Joe Thornton will win a Stanley Cup before Derek Carr wins a Super Bowl. Although last year’s Raiders gave me bit of scare, I think Carr’s broken leg will set him back and give me at least a push in that bet.

What do you think? Are you on my side with this?

Aurora photographers find new night sky lights and call them Steve

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[Source: BBC] – A group of aurora enthusiasts have found a new type of light in the night sky and named it Steve.

Eric Donovan from the University of Calgary in Canada spotted the feature in photos shared on a Facebook group. He did not recognise it as a catalogued phenomenon and although the group were calling it a proton arc, he knew proton auroras were not visible. Testing showed it appeared to be a hot stream of fast-flowing gas in the higher reaches of the atmosphere.

There are reports that the group called it Steve in homage to a 2006 children’s film, Over the Hedge, where the characters give the name to a creature they have not seen before.

Big day for the science community and guys named Steve. The term “aurora enthusiasts” might be the most sophisticated term for light nerds, just guys who go out and study light on their own terms. Sure, this guy goes to college and it might be related, but we all know staring at auroras is this guy’s Super Bowl.

Also, who in their right mind reference’s Over the Hedge out of all movies? At least go with something that people will understand and have actually watched. Missed opportunity to go with something timely like Star Wars to get more publicity or even funding.

“Light nerds find new light, name it ‘Tarkin’s Wrath'” would have been a much better headline. (RIP Peter Cushing)

Have any stories to share? Suggestions? Feedback? Send them to ZacharyAdamGray@gmail.com or Tweet me @ZacharyAdamGray

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One thought on “GMIM: Coffee, Hockey, and Steve

  1. Pingback: GMIM: Starbucks, Big Ballers, and the NHL/NBA Finals | Zachary Adam Gray

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