GMIM: Night Edition

Welcome to another installment of Good mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…

Clocking Out

Weather: More on that later
Traffic: Still sucked, both ways
Dinner: Spinach fettuccine with sausage
Zach leave early?: Sort of, but not really. But maybe.
Mornings without Starbucks: 161

Monday Evening Metaphor

First thing’s first…

With the news that started last night and continued pouring in this morning, I was in no rush to post today’s blog on time. Didn’t want to jump right into stupid hypotheticals, bitching about my “miserable” life, or any other Monday related items since really, it was not a bad morning for me in retrospect.

I don’t want to get overly political or make things too sad, but if you’re alive and healthy today, be thankful and hope all those in Vegas who either managed to survive or lost loved ones will be ok after today. What may be the worst part of this whole thing is until major changes are made to gun laws, none of this is changing.

So let’s be happy for what we have, hope for the best for everyone out in Nevada, and try to enjoy a chuckle or two while I bitch about stupid stuff. Enjoy.

This weather’s been a doozy, I tells ya

October in New England is an interesting time. You know those clichés for seasons and months? “April showers bring May flowers,” or “March: in like a lion, out like a lamb.” If I had to craft one for a New England October, it’d be the response your girlfriend gives when asking where she wants to have dinner: “uhhhhh I don’t know.”  (I give that joke 2/5 knee slappers.)

It was NFL Week 1 was when I decided to take out the air conditioners and boy do I look stupid. This morning was cool, but not terrible. The ride home? Good lord, the subway was like a damn sauna and I was stuck with my thermal long sleeve shirt and a pair of jeans that fits better on someone a few sizes smaller than me. My body isn’t adjusting to the weather any time soon. Why is that? Well, it’s going to be 81 degrees in a couple of days.

So what’s my solution? I think the only logical thing to do at this point is become a shorts guy. The type of guy wear shorts all year round and maybe gets a few weird looks from others thinking to themselves, “Is he wearing shorts because he’s fat, or is he fat because he wears shorts all year round?”

Damn, there goes Zach stuntin’ all the haters in his open North Face and size 36 shorts.

Or maybe I can switch this up and look like a Cape Cod douche bag who wears short-shorts, boat shoes, and one of those stupid sweaters over my shoulders. That way in the morning I’m nice and warm actually look somewhat presentable for work, but later can throw the sweater over my shoulders.

Or I can wear it around my waist like a loser dad and not end up with sweaty shoulders. Just a thought. The possibilities are endless and I’m sure to have all my coworkers jealous of my fresh new outfit.

Nintendo confirms Mario was originally punching Yoshi in the head

[Source] – You’ll never be able to look at Mario the same way again after it was confirmed that he regularly beat up Yoshi.

What Mario does to make Yoshi stick out his tongue has long been a subject of debate among Mario fans. But now, it has been settled by developers Takashi Tezuka and Shigefumi Hino.

Yes, Mario was originally punching Yoshi in the head to make him stick out his tongue to grab things.

That motherfucker!!

Just when you think you know someone, they show their true colors. To think all these years, Mario, the precious mascot for the entire planet’s video gaming childhood entertainment, was landing slobberknockers on a pet dinosaur nice enough to give him a ride. Hell, Yoshi even thanked Mario for freeing him.

And that’s how he repays him? A persistent feeding of CTE.

Makes you wonder though how Nintendo never made a Mario Football game. You’d have to think Yoshi would be the equivalent of Bo Jackson in Tecmo Bowl. Just look at the list of intangibles:

  • Longevity; active since 1990
  • Durability; does not sustain concussions
  • Plays hungry
  • Tremendous pad level
  • Literally puts the team on his back

I’ll go on record and say Mario was an over-rated, selfish a-hole who beats his pets. If Yoshi is Bo Jackson, then we all know who Mario is…

Have any stories to share? Suggestions? Feedback? Send them to ZacharyAdamGray@gmail.com or tweet me @ZacharyAdamGray

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  1. Pingback: GMIM: Merry Christmas? | Zachary Adam Gray

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