GMIM: Halloween Edition

Welcome to another installment of Good Mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…

Clocking In

Weather: Let’s check in with Ollie Williams
Traffic: Roads were decent, but train was packed as always
Breakfast: 87 cent coffee at Dunks, poor quality as always
Zach arrival time: Early bird
Mornings without Starbucks: 189

Monday Mourning Metaphor

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Thought to ponder: When does pumpkin season end?

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So here we are, October 30th. We have Halloween tomorrow and then all focus shifts to Christmas on Wednesday because people idiotically decide to skip Thanksgiving.

November is the ultimate Autumn month, so naturally I want to continue drinking Autumn beers. But here’s the thing: every Autumn beer is either pumpkin or October themed.

Would I be a loser for drinking an Oktoberfest-styled beer in November? How about a Jack-O-Lantern-themed lager? Sure, it’s only a month later, but then the cycle continues and next thing you know it’s April and I’m sucking down Pumpkinheads on the lake.

And this isn’t limited to beer either. What’s everyone going to say when I order a pumpkin macchiato in the middle of November?

“There goes Zach again trying to be a basic bitch a month late.”

Can’t have that.

Any feedback on this would be appreciated, because I can’t go through the embarrassment of being a loser next month.

Is last night’s World Series game proof that global warming is a hoax?

**[Hot take level: The equivalent of Skip Bayless and Stephen A’s love child giving his thoughts on race relations in America.]**

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Last night proved to everyone why baseball is still awesome and doesn’t suck. The extra-innings, high drama, and 20+ runs made Game 5 one of the most exciting games not just in World Series, but in baseball history.

If Millennials wanted a reason to get into baseball, seven home runs last night and a record 22 during the entire series might just pull those damn kids away from their PS4’s and watch the show rather than play it.

But that stat concerning long balls had my brain thinking a lot today. The previous mark of 21 was held in 2002 and a certain Barry Bonds with his steroids* helped contribute to the surge in offense. MLB’s PED policy has been in place for about a decade(ish) and anyone who juices gets a hefty suspension plus public shaming.

So what’s causing the uptick in dingers? Rumors are the baseballs themselves are slicker and react like bouncy balls. But I call BS on that, especially when Jose Altuve hit 24 home runs both this season AND last. And don’t bring his 5’6″ stature into this. Just because we share the same height doesn’t mean I couldn’t hit 24 bombs; I just choose to sit on my ass all day.

The only explanation is that global warming is a hoax and the environment is actually improving to baseball’s favor.

“But Zach, that’s crazy talk.”

You know what’s truly crazy? Two of the worst “polluted” cities in America hosting an October home-run derby: smog filled Los Angeles, and fast-food exhaust smoke infested Houston. If Denver can have thin air and more home runs, wouldn’t the thick, polluted air of these two cities weigh the balls down? Plus, how many World Series games have been rained out? That’s right, zero. You have to wonder if the Dodgers are spending too much time trying to protect Mother Nature instead of the inside corner of the plate.

Clayton Kershaw could learn a thing or two about the benefits of trickle down economics. The ace of a pitching staff should lead his team instead of acting like a LiberAl who expects bailouts and handouts from his bullpen. Unlike the Oval Office, lasting four and two-thirds isn’t considered a surprising success.

No surprise a red state is up 3-2 in this series over a team who won the regular season popular vote. At least they won’t have to wait four years for another chance to win.

Song of the Week

Been listening to this and some other Hozier songs in the morning and on the way home from work. Good vibes and sort of goes with that sunrise/set mood. If you don’t like it, well… just don’t listen I guess.

Have any stories to share? Suggestions? Feedback? Send them to ZacharyAdamGray@gmail.com or tweet me @ZacharyAdamGray

 

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2 thoughts on “GMIM: Halloween Edition

  1. Pingback: GMIM: Merry Christmas? | Zachary Adam Gray

  2. Pingback: GMIM: Hanukkah Season | Zachary Adam Gray

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