Welcome to another installment of Good Mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…
Weather: Post-snow cold-ass breeze
Traffic: Pleasantly not horrible
Breakfast: Large hot caramel latte
Zach arrival time: Late enough for people to notice me walk in, but not too late that people say, “Thanks for joining us!” like an asshole
Mornings without Starbucks: 231
Monday Mourning Metaphor
When you befriend your co-workers over the weekend, but then hit you with some shit on Monday…
Should I convert to Judaism?
If you’ve been following this blog on a weekly basis, you would know that it’s been pumpkin then Christmas season in a matter of a week. Well, I’m happy to inform you it is now Hanukkah season. Well, not fully.
You see, I’m not Jewish. I’ve never celebrated Hanukkah in my life, but the influx of Jewish coworkers has sparked my interest. Do my motives not align with the true reasons to covert to a certain religion? Perhaps not. But I’ll make my case and see where we end up.
More days off
The anti-Belichick mindset. Folks, there is nothing better than holidays, and when you’re Jewish working in a religious-friendly office, you’ve got a great situation on your hands. Shabbat, Yom Kippur, Hanukkah, and more. Then the company makes you take Christmas off, so it’s the classic ole double dip. Can’t beat that.
Let’s make a short list: Adam Sandler, Woody Allen, Bob Kraft, Ben Stiller, Mel Brooks, Harrison Ford, Seth Rogan, P!nk, Gene Simmons, Adam Levine, Howard Stern.. it goes on.
I don’t know about you, but if I can align myself with both Han Solo and the owner of the New England Patriots, then I’m doing something right.
Bet you didn’t know this one: my name “Zachary” is Hebrew for “the Lord remembered.” Hmm, was I born to fit into this? You tell me…
Play for the national team
If you can provide documentary evidence that you can be granted citizenship or a passport by Israel, you can play on the national team. Our friend Amare Stoudemire did just that. Now I’m not much of a basketball player, given I stand at 5’6″ and broke my foot avoiding a screen, so I’d probably try out for the baseball team and play with Kevin Youkilis.
Give me a year in Florida with a pitching coach, and I’ll be a serviceable set up man. Just picture it: I come in only in the 7th to toss a couple of outs. My short stature with the submarine delivery would be incredible. Tremendous pad level like you read about. I’d essentially be the fullback of Team Israel’s baseball team.
A free trip to the homeland? Count me in. And now that Trump has recognized Jerusalem as Israel’s capital, it’s sure to be a safe time to travel into the area as an American…
There seems to be a handful of benefits from this. But I am concerned about going Kosher because I enjoy bacon too much. Plus, Hanukkah starts tomorrow, so it’ll have to be a quick turnaround for your boy. Furthermore, if I can’t commit to the gym, then how the hell will I stick with this?
However, if anyone wants to invite me to their holiday parties, I’m all in. But I think that’ll be it for me.
I’ll be riding an airplane for the first time in 12 years: my thoughts
As the title says, I’ll be traveling in an airplane for the first time in over a decade. Not too sure what to make of it. Last time I rode in one, I was 13. Now I’m a big boy and can booze it prior. I’m not afraid of flying, nor am I nervous about this. But I am riding solo Saturday morning, and then sitting alone on the way home Monday afternoon. Since it’s a weekend deal, I’m hoping to pack everything into a carry-on. Last thing I want to do is try to find my suitcase since, you know, I didn’t have to worry about stuff like that when I was a child.
The biggest concern I have is what to wear. I’m going from snowy Boston down to Miami, a casual 50 degree difference. I don’t want to walk off the plane wearing my Uggs and a coat, but I’ll look like an asshole wearing a Hawaiian shirt in Boston.
I have a bit of an idea of how flying works. Check in, check your bags, get charged a lot of money, find your gate, get patted down by TSA, and then wait. So it’ll be interesting to see how it goes. I should be live tweeting my adventure, so follow me along Saturday morning @ZacharyAdamGray.
Video Review: Smelling Salts
I’ve done movie reviews and other sorts of reviews on this blog, but smelling salts deserved it’s own video.
If you’ve watched pregame of any sport, you’d see athletes like Peyton Manning, Alexander Ovechkin, Tom Brady, and others use sniffing salts prior to playing to get a little amped up. These are meant for individuals who are about to faint, but hey, why not do it for pregame?! Without further ado, here’s my video review…
Song of the Week: Will Smith “Miami”
Off to Miami this weekend, and it’s only Monday. Let’s get through this week. Special GMIM coming next week!
Have any stories to share? Suggestions? Feedback? Send them to ZacharyAdamGray@gmail.com or tweet me @ZacharyAdamGray