GMIM: Miami

Welcome to another installment of Good Mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…

Clocking In (on Monday)

Weather: 74, sunny
Traffic: Easy walk to the beach
Breakfast: Buffet
Zach arrival time: When God shined His light upon thee
Mornings without Starbucks: 238

Clocking In (Today)

Weather: Cold and sucks
Traffic: Probably sucked
Breakfast: Nope
Zach arrival time: Whenever the dog started barking
Mornings without Starbucks: 239

Monday Mourning Metaphor


Let’s talk about my Monday

So I had myself a little business trip to Miami (pronounced ME-ah-me)… you may have heard of it. As I said last week, it was the first time I’ve ever flown alone, and my first time flying in 12 years.

Trip was a success and learned a lot. Like, the beach is so much better down south. Or, Miami is lowkey a terrible place.

Although the weekend was eventful, my Monday was probably the most Monday of them all. Allow me to explain…

I woke up early to enjoy the beach, so the morning was off to a splendid start. Even squeezed in the breakfast buffet before checking out. But here’s where the day became Monday. To start, I had the middle seat next to the wing on the flight back. Glare city from the dude next to me leaving it open. Then, the wifi isn’t working, which means I’m writing this blog at 7 p.m. on a Tuesday. Next, I somehow lose my wallet. Somehow, it’s not under my ass, in my bags, under the seat… no where. I have to wait until the flight empties to search under my seat before I finally find it lodged in the closed tray. Once I get my wallet, I’m reminded that I’m back in Boston and it’s lovely 30 degree weather, and all I’m wearing is a hoodie and jeans. Then, while I’m waiting for the bus, I realize I didn’t add money to my MBTA card. So while I’m searching the airport for a kiosk to add money, I miss two busses. I say screw it and hope I can pay in cash. The bus then gets delayed and I finally get on to realize I never had to add money, because it’s free when departing the airport. While crammed in the bus with other people’s luggage hitting me, I try purchasing a commuter rail pass on my phone, only to be told my credit card info is wrong. So I decide instead to pay off some football-square debt only to have Venmo tell me the same thing. As it turns out, I can’t use my debit card until I contact the bank, which doesn’t open until the morning during my next work shift… fantastic. Nextly, I finally get to the commuter rail with 5 minutes to spare, but get told I can’t pay on the train with cash and I need to go to the other side of the station to pay for a ticket. That gets squared away and I just make it onto the train to get back home in time for a memorial service at a local funeral home.

So in a 12 hour span, I went from sitting on South Beach in 75 degree weather and perfect surroundings, to freezing rain en route to a wake. Folks, if that doesn’t personify the crumbling hopes of every person’s Monday, then I don’t know what does.

I was going to write this week’s blog in such a cocky fashion, in such an asshole narrative, just because I was so happy to be in the warm weather. I guess The Man Upstairs wanted to humble my dumb ass.

So I guess you all got lucky and avoided the blog where I get to be a complete douchebag. It’s back to my roots for me.

UPS loses family’s $846K inheritance, offers to refund $32 shipping fee

[Newsweek] – A Canadian man says he’s broke after the United Parcel Service lost track of his inheritance.

The intended $846,000 delivery was a bank draft from TD Canada Trust, which still hasn’t refunded the lost fortune 10 months later. Instead, UPS offered an apology and $32 to pay for the mailing costs, according to a CBC News report.

“It was a total surprise,” Lorette Taylor told CBC News. “Never in my wildest imagination did I think something like this would happen.”

Taylor’s brother, Louis Paul Herbert, said they were finalizing the details of her father’s will last February and went to a local UPS store near Cornwall, Ontario, where he was expecting a package from his sister containing his share of the inheritance in a bank draft. But it never came.

“I’m waiting at the UPS store, around 3 p.m. because that’s when they said the guys came in—nothing shows up,” Herbert told CBC News. “I came back in the evening. Nothing shows up…and I’m wondering, ‘What’s happened to my inheritance?’”

Taylor sent the money through UPS from her lawyer about 270 miles away in Georgetown, Ontario, so Herbert wouldn’t have to worry about picking up the money. She obtained the bank draft in February after she said the bank advised it as the safest way to send the large sum.

I like to shop online, ship gifts, and do a lot of things that require traveling items. It’s easily to buy an N64 game online than to search thrift shops. I’d rather get a hat or t-shirt on Amazon than take the trip up to the mall to surround myself around the mutants who raid the inside like trolls in a dungeon.

But this right here, might be the DUMBEST move by anyone ever.

“I’m receiving almost a million dollars. How should I get it? I know, I’ll use UPS!”

Nice going, stupid. Now your big-ass check is gone, and all you got was pocket change with a side of “sorrey for losing your money there bud!”

Is a 540 mile round-trip crazy to think about? Sure, but it’s better than being broke and stupid. If someone told you, “if you drive 540 miles, I’ll give you nearly a million dollars,” you sure as shit would drive that 540 miles.

A red flag should have gone up when the bank told these buddies how to get their money. Think about it: do you really think the bank is ready to just hand over $846K? Of course not! They’d tell you to ship it via carrier pigeon because people are too afraid of touching pigeons, plus birds don’t care about currency like humans do.

So at the end of the day, I don’t feel bad for these sorrey little Canucks. The $32 refund in shipping was well deserved, and the bank did exactly what they were going to do: screw you over.

P.s. – TD Bank sucks. So many fees. Holla at your credit union.

Song of the Week

It’s Christmas next week. Here’s the GOAT song to get you in the spirit…

Have any stories to share? Suggestions? Feedback? Send them to or tweet me @ZacharyAdamGray