Welcome to another installment of Good Mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…
Weather: Cool, but not terrible
Traffic: Kill me
Breakfast: Coffee I made at my house (it was terrible)
Zach arrival time: 9:30-ish
Mornings without Starbucks: 315 +1
Monday Mourning Metaphor
When you bring “fresh” ideas into the meeting, but didn’t review the notes…
Movie Review: Fifty Shades Freed
I forgot to add this to last week’s blog, so that’s on me, folks. Saw this with the lady on Valentine’s Day and it was a doooooozzy.
If you read my review from last year’s instant classic “Fifty Shades Darker,” you know these movies increase the drama, intensity, and of course, softcore pornography year after year. Let’s do a Sparknote version of the review:
- There were many parts of this movie I was literally laughing out loud. Terrible acting, corny lines, and lack of detail. The movie is a joke.
- The opening scene is the Grey marriage. Right after their wedding, they go to a private jet for their honeymoon. Anastasia sees the jet and asks, “This is yours?!” Lady, it shouldn’t take you three movies to realize you’re dating a multi-billionaire. Of course he has a jet! He was flying a helicopter in the last movie, you dingus.
- The movie’s main plot I think revolves around Anastasia’s old boss Jack Hyde (get it?!?!?) being a crazy person and still wanting to stalk/kill(?) her. But we also explore the Grey’s marriage struggles, so basically life… with corny sex.
- One lol scene was when Christian and Anastasia were talking about having kids… after they’ve already been married. Yes folks, this dysfunctional couple never discussed the topic of raising kids before tying the knot. Classic BDSM marriage problems! Spoiler: they eventually have kids and live happily ever after.
- Continuing the kids thing, Christian gets pissed when he finds out his wife is knocked up. He gets angry and says he’s not ready to have kids. Dude, you’re a billionaire. Hire a babysitter forever. Obviously, he’s hiding his fear of not being able to raise and love a child, but the script is so bad that the scene is laughable.
- The film goes on with Christian trying to nail down the Jack Hyde case, all while we get introduced to more and more corny sex scenes. One involves putting ice cream on his nips. I nearly had an anxiety attack at the thought of food being on my body. I can’t handle having Cheetoh fingers in public, never mind desserts on my inner thighs. Anywho, they bang and so on.
- I won’t bore you with the rest of the movie. They eventually catch Hyde, get him arrested, the Greys live happily with their two kids in their new house. The end. But there’s two things I’m still confused about… 1) The name of the movie is 50 Shades Freed… so what are they freed from? Is Anastasia free? If so how?? Or is Christian free from not being able to live a normal life? WHO KNOWS! And 2) What the hell are the 50 Shades? We’ve never been told what the 50 shades really are, and folks… that puts my brain in a pretzel.
FINAL THOUGHTS: Although this film had somewhat of a storyline in comparison to the last one, there’s nothing that could save this film. Terrible acting, awful storyline, and I laughed more than I was aroused (which was never).
RATING: 0/10 handcuffs
UPDATE: We know how much money you need to be happy
[Source: Forbes] – Turns out, it’s true that you’d be happier if you just made a little more cash.
The income at which individuals experience peak satisfaction with their lives has been determined, and it’s $95,000. If you want to settle for just emotional well-being, say psychologists from Purdue University and the University of Virginia, you can aim lower: between $65,000 to $75,000.
The data the researchers crunched to come to this conclusion came from the Gallup World Poll, which gathers stats on 1.7 million people across 164 countries, from their earning power to reported life satisfaction.
What’s interesting is that once individuals surpassed $95,000 in income, their satisfaction actually started to fall back down. Why? The researchers’ guess is that once your “optimal point of needs” is met — that is, you make enough to cover your basic needs, pay down debt and afford certain conveniences without breaking the bank — your focus shifts to material gain and social comparisons, which doesn’t do anyone any good.
If you read last week’s blog, you would know that being super rich makes you super happy, to which I said “no shit.”
Well, turns out we have a minimum amount for what makes someone happy: $95K. It’s not a million, and sure isn’t six figures. But hey, sounds good enough to me. But I’m a little skeptical about this. Had the article stopped at the numbers for making you happy, I would’ve believed it. But they just had to throw in the “well, if you make too much, you’ll be sad” bullshit. Yeah, I see what you’re doing Forbes. You don’t want anyone to make more than you and the way you do that is to provide BS stats. Just like Cosmopolitan Magazine will publish terrible advice so their readers continue to buy more magazines.
Stay woke on this. Updates will be provides in the coming weeks*
*not a chance.
Song of the Week
The 50 Shades theme. Damn, do I hate this song.
Have any stories to share? Suggestions? Feedback? Send them to ZacharyAdamGray@gmail.com or tweet me @ZacharyAdamGray