Welcome to another installment of Good Mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…
Weather: Cold and windy
Traffic: I was too tired to know how shitty it was
Breakfast: Sausage, egg, & cheese on a multigrain bagel, and a large dark roast (thin mint, two cream, one sugar)
Zach arrival time: 9:28 a.m. EST
Mornings without Starbucks: 322
Monday Mourning Metaphor
Me vs Mondays:
I refuse to pay for Spotify: MY COLUMN
Picture this: it’s Friday. Later afternoon in the office and the week is winding down. Projects are being finished, and some work is being pushed back as far as possible to avoid until Monday. Because it’s Friday, Zach has his world-famous playlist playing on his laptop speakers: Funk Fridays. Folks, if you haven’t gotten down with Funk Fridays yet, you haven’t lived. A little “Flashlight,” maybe some James Brown, or even a bit of Rick James never hurt nobody.
Anywho, the music is going and what comes on after three songs? An advertisement. Now I’m no ad junky, but I know it’s the price you pay in order to enjoy a little free music. I’ve had a Spotify account for five years now, and I’ve come to phase out the 20 Ziprecruiter advertisements much like a degenerate, alcoholic father tunes out his children on a Wednesday night. But my coworkers? Nope, they’re crying like their drunk daddy won’t play Legos with them in their bedroom. So what’s my response? Increase the volume to drown out their crying.
My boss even offered to sign me up for premium with his credit card. Listen bossman, I don’t need no pity offerings just because your hears can’t handle a great offer from ZipRecruiter.com for the 20th time in an hour. Maybe I like hearing the newest deals ZipRecruiter.com has going on.
I know musicians like Jay-Z and Taylor Swift are struggling with money and had to leave “The Spot” (that’s my nickname for Spotify), but you don’t get on top without selling out (to advertisers). Plus, I pay a good chunk of change each month for my car which includes a radio, and you don’t see that play ad-free music.
All I know is once I enter my credit card info, those European hackers disguised as a music service own me, and I’m already owned by my car payments, insurance, and The Man (government).
So take this as my promise: I will not pay for Spotify premium. And if that bothers you, then put on your earmuffs.
Austrians can swear or make obscene gestures at politicians, court rules
[Source] – Citizens have the right to “give the finger” or swear at politicians as long as they have a justification behind the action, an Austrian court has ruled.
Austrian vice-chancellor Heinz-Cristian Strache had accused a group of far-left activists of “public insults” after they released a video attacking him on social media. However, the court of appeal in Vienna dismissed the complaint on free speech grounds.
The right to “provocative and shocking” political opinion is a “fundamental part of freedom of expression,” the court ruled, confirming an earlier decision by a lower court.
The Linkswende Jetzt, or Left Now, group had produced a video which offered a series of reasons for supporters to declare “Fuck Strache” and raise their middle fingers to the leader of the far-right Freedom party.
Big news our of Austria, which I quickly read as Australia and really got confused. And then I got more confused because I couldn’t spell either country correctly without autocorrect.
My big gripe with this story is how it’s become a political issue over in not-Australia. Folks, being able to say “fuck you” to another person is a human right, no matter who the other person is.
“But Zach, would you use that language towards your mother?”
Buddy, if Mama G decided to throw out the Thin Mints in the snack cabinet, bought another dog, and bought me Spotify Premium, you bet I’m telling her she’s out of her fucking mind (and then apologizing afterward for my foul potty language).
I wrote about the joys of using bad words in a previous blog, and I do say it does feel a little better to say shit when stubbing my toe than shouting “gosh darn it.”
All in all, good for Austria for getting on board the bad word train. Otherwise, it would have been quite the shit-storm.
How many years would it take me to win an Oscar?
In case you didn’t know, the Oscars were last night. Yes, I don’t care either. Bunch of people in tuxedos handing each other gold trophies, yeah real relatable.
Big story from the night was NBA star Kobe Bryant winning an Academy Award for Best Animated Short. Fact: LeBron and MJ never won an Oscar. Makes you wonder who the real GOAT is.
The short film was based on Kobe’s retirement letter in The Player’s Tribune. But we all know not every athlete actually writes on there. They’re throw a few lines in there, have a ghost writer/copy editor finish the rest, and boom: Kobe is now an Oscar-winning writer.
Hot take sports shows always ask “how long would LeBron James have to train to be an Olympic handballer?” Well, I ask how long it would take for me to win an Oscar? If we go by the numbers, I’ve written a hell of a lot more than Kobe, so that means I have more material to build an Oscar-worthy animated short. He had a one-hit-wonder; I got a potential triple-trilogy on my hands. All I need is a good animator, someone who can bring my story to life. I was thinking Eric Carle. If that guy can win awards for a book embracing morbid caterpillar obesity, why can’t I get an Oscar for my blog?
The only obstacle at this point is money. As I’ve stated before, my Venmo is always accepting donations: @zacharyadamgray.
Let’s get this thing going.
P.S.: “The Shape of Water” is described as a “sea-creature romance.” Yeah, anything with that description should win zero awards.
Song of the Week
Whenever I hear this song on the radio, I switch it immediately. Something about it drives me nuts. But the acoustic version? Absolute fire. Heard it on Sirius this morning on the Coffee House station and it was awesome. Has more of a Latin-folk feel, especially when the lyrics can actually be understood. Anywho, great acoustic song, not so much on them radios.
Have any stories to share? Suggestions? Feedback? Send them to ZacharyAdamGray@gmail.com or tweet me @ZacharyAdamGray