Welcome to another installment of Good Mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…
Weather: Colder and windier than last week
Traffic: Got cut off a few times; used a few bad words
Breakfast: Turkey sausage, egg, & cheese on an English muffin, and a large dark roast (thin mint, two cream, turbo shot)
Zach arrival time: Not quite what I wanted, but I’m here
Mornings without Starbucks: 329
Monday Mourning Metaphor
BREAKING NEWS: I got a gym membership (again)
The rumors are true, folks: I got a gym membership yet again. I initially signed up for one back in November of 2014 shortly after I graduated from college as a way to not be a complete slob post-college. You see, I had access to a free gym in college, but spent most of my time in the food hall, radio station, drinking beer in my dorm, and downing mystery shots at the local dive bar (shout out to Franco’s). But because I rarely used the gym back home, plus it doesn’t provide much outside of weights and equipment, I dropped my membership back last Spring.
I won’t make this a weight-loss blog/story, but it’s a little unavoidable when sharing this breaking news.
You may be wondering, “Zach, you’re just a kid who blogs once a week and works on the Internet. Why do you need to go to the gym?” Well, I’ve gained some weight since my
glory days in college… 30lbs to be exact. I don’t have a gut, but I think I’m considered what the kids call lowkey thicc. So all in all, I’d like to drop some poundage before the beach and not breath heavily when walking up a flight of stairs.
So how can we make this fun or worth your time actually reading? Should I update the six of you on whether or not I puke my brains out after a workout?
We’ll see how this goes. I’m stuck with this membership for a year, so if I don’t lose any weight, it’s a failure, folks.
STUDY: Drinking beer and coffee makes you live longer. So forget about the section above.
[Source] – A study out of the University of California-Irvine has revealed that consumption of moderate amounts of alcohol and coffee is linked to living a longer life.
The key word is “moderate,” of course. The study, called “The 90+ Study,” started in 2003 and examined “the oldest-old” age group – about 1,700 nonagenarians – to determine what is key to living to your 90th birthday and beyond.
The study has found, among other things, that people “who drank moderate amounts of alcohol or coffee lived longer than those who abstained,” and that “people who were overweight in their 70s lived longer than normal or underweight people did.”
“I have no explanation for it, but I do firmly believe that modest drinking improves longevity,” Dr. Claudia Kawas, a key researcher for the study, recently said at the American Association for the Advancement of Science conference in Austin, according to the Independent.
The research found that subjects who drank two glasses of beer or wine every day decreased their chances at a premature death by 18%, and those who drank two cups of coffee a day decreased their chances by 10%.
Well, it looks like I have a choice to make: live healthier or live longer. Apparently all that drinking in college is leading me to a life well into my 90s, maybe longer. And all the coffee I have to drink nowadays is adding on more years. Just yesterday I had an old fashioned made with cold brew coffee, so I guess I’m living to 110.
What sucks now is I have this new gym membership, which according to this study is a drawn-out way to kill myself. So I guess now I have to show up to the gym drunk, that way I can live longer and healthier.
Yeah, I see the word moderate up there, but that can be interpreted in different ways. I mean, look at Andre the Giant. When he had surgery, the anesthesiologist had to figure out how many beers got him drunk and try to equate that to morphine. For reference, it was over 100 beers.
So it looks like now I’ll be losing LBS and gaining some BAC. If you don’t think this will work, come talk to me in 2092.
Quote of the Week
Could be in reference to hangovers.
Song of the Week
Absolute fire flames workout song. Too bad his name literally translates to lazy weight.
Have any stories to share? Suggestions? Feedback? Send them to ZacharyAdamGray@gmail.com or tweet me @ZacharyAdamGray