GMIM: West Coast Recap

Welcome to another installment of Good Mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…

Clocking In

Weather: Absolutely freezing
Traffic: Too long for my liking (much like every other day)
Breakfast: Turkey sausage, egg, and cheese on an English; large Thin Mint hot
Zach arrival time: Little past 9:30
Mornings without Starbucks: 336

Monday Mourning Metaphor

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I visited the west coast for the first time: my thoughts

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Damn, there goes Zach again taking a business trip to a warm location during the winter. Yup, this time it was to Santa Monica, California. A nice change of scenery after snowblowing almost two feet of snow just last week. So here’s my recap and review from the weekend…

Flying

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This is my third time flying in four months. Doesn’t seem like a lot, but I’ve only flown twice prior with the last time being in 2005. So yeah, being in the air is sort of a big deal for me. The first adventure was down to Miami and I took American Airlines by myself on the way down. It surprisingly wasn’t bad and I managed to not get lost.

Flying to Toronto last month was interesting. First off, the trip was overnight, so my body was not enjoying being up in the air twice in less than 24 hours. What was truly great was flying on Porter, aka propeller plane city. This tiny plane shook like crazy and was loud. I’m only 5’6” and it was too small for me, so I have no idea how any normal person could’ve flown in that thing.

This time around however, I took jetBlue. My experience? Lovely. Slugged down so many Terra blue chips and Seagrams ginger ale. Unfortunately the flight down was unable to feature live tv, but the flight home had all the NCAA games going on. In the moment I felt like a big baller, but then I walked through first class (or “Mint” as these jetBlueians call it) in my sweatpants and was brought back down to my schmuck ways. Needed some live TV on the way west and I couldn’t get it. Definitely the best flying experience thus far.

HOWEVVAAA… few things to address. First, the movies on board were made for TV versions. Since live TV wasn’t available on the way out, I figured I’d throw on The Godfather, Part II to kill half the flight. Problem is, I don’t want to hear Don Michael hurl elementary school insults to his enemies. Then, jetBlue offers hot, moist hand towels at the end of the flight to clean off your hands and face. But here’s the problem: I was ignored on the first flight. Completed skipped over like a dummy. Thankfully I did get one on the way home, but these things are piping hot. And thennnnnnn, it’s freezing in a matter seconds. Finally, too many kids for my liking on both flights. Every plan should replace a section of seating with a toddler play-pen and let then run around like animals in a sound-proof chamber. So yeah, that or throw them below with the luggage. Just a thought.

In case you were wondering, I did in fact poop on the flight out west. Tiny bathroom, sure. But it was as if jetBlue knew I would perfectly fit into this tiny cube of a john. Little turbulence made things interesting, but we got the job done just fine. Thoughts and prayers to those in the back row who sat through the next four hours.

Rating: 4/5 blue chips.

Post-flight travel

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The freeways are bananas like you read about, smog is everywhere, and people can’t drive. So not much better than Boston.

I will say, Ubers out in LA are fantastic. Cheap price for some good cars and you get to feel like you matter for at least a car ride. Only thing that sucked was the LA Marathon was yesterday and it took forever to get the hell out. Fun fact: wasn’t aware there was a LA Marathon until this weekend. Even our Uber driver said no one out there really cares about it. So yeah, have fun running for no one, nerds.

Rank: 3/5 potholes

City

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Santa Monica was rainy and decently warm. The pier looks cool and so does the beach, until you remember it’s a tourist attraction littered with street performers, trash, and homeless folks using drugs on the ground.

Anything near the beach for me is great in my book, don’t get me wrong, but the touristy locations are only good in very small doses.

Because I was out for business, I didn’t have a ton of time to explore the city, plus Los Angeles is absolutely massive. For what I saw, it’s great to have that many avocados available at every restaurant. That way when I eat a breakfast burrito overfilled with fried eggs, potatoes, and extra cheese, those two thin slices of green goodness can give me the illusion of feeling healthy.

Ranking: 3/5 palm trees

Final Thoughts

If you’re traveling this far, plan to stay an entire week. Three days with 12 hours of total travel isn’t enough. Does that apply to me? No, I’m a business man, folks. No fun. Never ever.

Be sure to look up what’s happening in the city before going. We left during the marathon and our last night was during St Patrick’s Day. Being stuck in traffic and witnessing a guy piss into a restaurant’s shrubs isn’t ideal. Had that been in South Boston, it would have been another Saturday.

Final trip ranking: 4/5 suh dudes

Song of the Week

Have any stories to share? Suggestions? Feedback? Send them to ZacharyAdamGray@gmail.com or tweet me @ZacharyAdamGray

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