Hi you. Yes, you reader. I’m back. Again. Yes, another reintroduction. It’s like the boss of your boss’s boss who doesn’t remember your name, so you say “how’s it going” in passing. That’s how I’ve been keeping up with this blog. Now that football season is over and I have some me time at this very moment, let’s do some catching up.
Just a warning: this blog is going to come off more as a diary rather than an actual blog. So, apologies for the useless banter that’ll be taking place. I do finish with a short blog-like piece at the end of this, so enjoy…
- My last blog was August 22, 2018. Before that, I was doing alright keeping up with a weekly blog every Monday morning (otherwise known as “Good Mourning, It’s Monday”) up through July 24. You might remember it for my hot fire flames takes such as “Gordon Hayward is getting injured on purpose so he can play more video games.” For the record, I don’t think that’s true (but maybe).
- Going forward, I’ll be more overt with whether or not my blog is satirical or actual opinion. Maybe I’ll feature a grading scale for how hot my fire flames take is. We’ll put the Hayward take at 5 stars, or 3/3 flames emojis.
- To dispel a rumor I just made up on the spot, I have not been in rehab for going back to Starbucks. In fact, they are still on the hate list. It’s one thing to not blog for months, but it’s another to live as a fraud and consume coffee products from those capitalist pigs.
- The gym is still a work in progress. Go me.
- I did not have to pay for the photo I “stole.” Told them to shove it and never heard back. Zach: 1 – Haters: 0
- As I said before, football season is over, so I have a little more free time on the weekends. When your job is to create, share, and support content, it makes your own stupid blog feel like an added job. Does it take a lot of effort to write a bunch of meaningless words for a useless blog? No, but there’s something about being creatively burnt out to the point where you don’t feel like producing anything that’s not for a paycheck.
- The one question I’ve been asking myself while trying to write this is, “what’s the point?” And I’m still thinking that as I type. What is the point of this blog, what is the point in taking an hour or so to write out silly stories, dumb takes, and anything else on here just for eight people to click? All I know is, I like writing. I enjoy writing, I enjoy telling stories, making people smile or laugh through my words. So even if it’s one coworker who mentions it, or perhaps a family member brings it up, maybe it was worth it in the end. I like writing. But I want to love it again.
- Side note: Venmo is still open for you to give me money without being paid back. Just saying.
- The last podcast I recorded was a year & a month ago. That’s going to change. I enjoy shooting the shit and entertaining people. Let’s keep that going.
Ok, let’s do a quick recap and look forward: I’ve been busy, I like writing but want to do more, I need more money and less weight, and that’s pretty much it.
Let’s wrap this up with an actual entertaining blog.
Why is stand-up comedy so popular on Valentine’s Day?
While I was trying to plan out Valentine’s Day night, I looked at several available places in the Boston area. Of course, that was after I looked at the super nice places that only had reservations for a 10pm meal. Seriously, why even off that on OpenTable? “Hello sir, we’d love to have you in here. Our next available table is at 10. Interested?” Yeah, for sure not.
Anywho, so the few places that were open at reasonable times were hosting comedy nights. As in, come in for dinner, a drink, and a no-name guy spitting jokes. I can’t hate on a dude trying to crack some jokes for a buck. At least he gets paid for it, I don’t. But why is this a thing? Just in my hometown area I saw a half-dozen spots featuring “a night of laughs on Valentine’s with your special someone.” And these places all varied: dive bars, bowling allies, and even breweries all featured stand-up comedy. I don’t go to comedy shows as it is, so why on the most romantic night of the year would I want to watch stand-up comedy? Just like a bizarre concept.
The only explanation is this is great for guys with zero sense of humor. Show your lady you can have some fun by letting another man make your girl laugh at his jokes. That’ll show her you’re charming.
I’m a traditional type of guy when it comes to Valentine’s: nice dinner, maybe some dessert, a movie, and see where it goes from there (sweet love).
But if I had to pick one stand-up to seduce my lady with, it’d probably be Gabriel Iglesias. I’m in better shape than him and I don’t find him funny. Thus, she’ll look at me after and think “wow, this guy’s in great physical shape and is super funny and perfect. What a guy!” You’re welcome for your next Valentine’s Day plans, fellas.
Hope you had a great Valentine’s Day, whatever you may have chosen to do.
Looking forward to having another blog next week.
Hey dummy, I’m on Twitter. Tweet me your thoughts or tell me how much I suck @zacharyadamgray, or if you’re old, send me an email to firstname.lastname@example.org