EMERGENCY BLOG: ANTI-AMERICAN ATTACKED MY WORK SPACE

I came into the office with positive vibes. “Take On Me” was blasting in my headphones on my way to work and it’s the perfect temperature outside. I got off the train and witnessed a woman vomitting into a trashcan, but I didn’t let that ruin my day.

HOWEVAAAAA…. I come into the office and what do I see? This horrific scene below. [WARNING: NSFW]

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GMIM: Patriots Day

Welcome to another installment of Good mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…

The Marathon Monday All-‘Murica Team

Here in Massachusetts, we observe the third Monday of April as a state holiday called Patriots Day. It’s a good old time, especially if you’re a college student along the Boston Marathon route getting drunk at 8 a.m.  You know, responsible actions that’ll land you a job a few months later after graduation.

The Boston Marathon isn’t the Super Bowl or World Cup, but it’s a feel-good day for Bostonians to celebrate the state that invented America. It could be argued that the marathon itself is an analogy of the American Dream: a group of individuals from nations across the globe pushing their own limits to reach their goals and celebrate all that is good with the land of the free.

On this day every year as well, the Boston Red Sox play their 11 a.m. Patriots Day game. It is truly a perfect day drinking experience for sports-goers. But while watching this game, a couple of my favorite pitchers came in to toss the ol’ leather for Boston. Why are they my favorite? Athletic ability? Personal story? Morals? No, it’s none of those. These players’ physical appearances embody what it means to be overly American. They look like true ‘Muricans: overweight, un-groomed, and free living manly men. We’ll get to them later.

Without further delay, here is the All-‘Murican Patriots Day Team (Note, this is cross-sport and does not have any true structure. You know, the ‘Murican way): Continue reading

Hey there, America. Let’s talk.

Well, you got what you wanted. As I type this, Hillary Clinton leads the popular vote, so maybe we didn’t get what we wanted. But who knows.

Donald J. Trump, come January 20, 2017, will become the 45th President of the United States. My fingers hurt typing that sentence. It’s bananaland, Bizzaro world, ass-backwards, and simply incredible. The electoral college elected an unqualified man to run the most powerful country on earth. I can’t wrap my head around it. It’s like America saw Brexit and said, “I can one-up you guys.”

I wrote on Monday a plea to America (a.k.a. my seven readers) not to vote for Trump. It wasn’t until election day morning to realize who Trump really was: the 70-year-old male version of Kim Kardashian. Let’s explore… Continue reading

Good mourning, it’s Monday! 3-peat

Welcome to another installment of Good mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…

CAN’T UNDERSTAND? NEED AN ANGLE FOR A STORY OR SHOW IDEA? THINGS GOING WRONG? ANSWER: MILLENNIALS!

Because why the hell not? This is something that has been bothering me for a good amount of time and I can’t avoid it. Even the term drives me crazy: millennial. The trend of highlighting young adults of this decade for better or worse has been red-hot as of late. It’s in the news, blogs, podcasts, radio stations, and even TV shows. Let’s start with every old person’s favorite station, CBS: Continue reading