GMIM: White NFL cornerbacks

Welcome to another installment of Good mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…

White sports writer writes story on white cornerbacks’ struggles as minorities in NFL…huh?

Last week, Sports Illustrated posted an article on the lack of white cornerbacks in the NFL. It doesn’t take a doctor to figure out the number of white guys playing cornerback ranges from extremely low to none existent, yet SI felt compelled to write a 5,000 word feature story on the few guys who have other the past several decades.

This piece, written by white guy Michael McKnight, is filled with some A+ head-scratching quotes. It starts by introducing Donny Lisowski, former NFL corner and Caucasian person, in Seahawks training camp making plays and getting hype and love from fellow corner Richard Sherman, who is not white. Continue reading

GMIM: Coffee, Hockey, and Steve

Welcome to another installment of Good mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…

Starbucks vs Me

Yesterday morning, I get into the office a little early. First and foremost, early in the office on a Sunday is the working man’s move. Early bird gets the worm, but the hawk eats the little bird. Or something like that.

Anywho, I figured I’d stop at the Starbucks downstairs to grab some morning caffeine to get my Sunday started. It’s been out for a little, but the Unicorn Frappuccino advertisement was just staring at me from the behind the counter and figured “why not?” I’ll give it a try, see what the buzz is about.

636281013629153981-Unicorn-Frappuccino

So I head up and ask for one of these cups of fairy vomit and I’m told, “Sorry, we’re out of the stuff needed for it.” Understandable. These stupid things have been flying off the shelves left and right. The Starbucks back home had a sign saying the Unicorns had gone extinct. So with that, I get the usual Venti Caramel Macchiato.

I get to the office, sit down, and a co-worker asks if anyone wants anything from the ‘Bucks. Only 10 minutes later, he comes up with a hot coffee and a UNICORN FRAPPUCCINO, the exact drink they “didn’t have the ingredients for.” Continue reading

GMIM: Patriots Day

Welcome to another installment of Good mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…

The Marathon Monday All-‘Murica Team

Here in Massachusetts, we observe the third Monday of April as a state holiday called Patriots Day. It’s a good old time, especially if you’re a college student along the Boston Marathon route getting drunk at 8 a.m.  You know, responsible actions that’ll land you a job a few months later after graduation.

The Boston Marathon isn’t the Super Bowl or World Cup, but it’s a feel-good day for Bostonians to celebrate the state that invented America. It could be argued that the marathon itself is an analogy of the American Dream: a group of individuals from nations across the globe pushing their own limits to reach their goals and celebrate all that is good with the land of the free.

On this day every year as well, the Boston Red Sox play their 11 a.m. Patriots Day game. It is truly a perfect day drinking experience for sports-goers. But while watching this game, a couple of my favorite pitchers came in to toss the ol’ leather for Boston. Why are they my favorite? Athletic ability? Personal story? Morals? No, it’s none of those. These players’ physical appearances embody what it means to be overly American. They look like true ‘Muricans: overweight, un-groomed, and free living manly men. We’ll get to them later.

Without further delay, here is the All-‘Murican Patriots Day Team (Note, this is cross-sport and does not have any true structure. You know, the ‘Murican way): Continue reading

GMIM: Easter is Coming

Welcome to another installment of Good mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…

My long-lasting feud with the Easter Bunny

Pictured above: douchebag

It’s Easter week, folks. Palm Sunday was yesterday, which means the state of Florida was lit. Lent technically ends on Thursday, Good Friday comes the day after, and then Easter finally arrives Sunday. Big, big week for all the Catholics out there.

I enjoy the food, helping kids hunt for plastic eggs filled with money or terrible Tootsie Rolls, coloring boiled eggs I’ll never eat, and dressing like a private school nerd. But for me, Easter is a reminder of my arch nemesis: The Easter Bunny. I admit, this might be one of the more ridiculous things I’ll put out there, but I assure you this is 100% true. This isn’t my sarcastic hot fire flames takes, my condescending analysis, or any other blog I put out there to grab a few laughs. This actually happened and I will stand by it as long as I live. Continue reading

GMIM: Cities suck, naps are great, and don’t talk to strangers

Welcome to another installment of Good mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…

City living is garbage

Yes, this is Chinese smog, I know.

Growing up 30 miles north of Boston, I always had a fascination with the city. I grew up in the suburbs with a large yard and plenty of street parking. There weren’t any woods, but I could smell the boarder of New Hampshire. It’s the ideal location; far enough from the city to have peace, but close enough to drive in for the day.

So when I started working in the city, I was excited for what was to come: tall buildings, restaurants, endless numbers of people walking around, trains, cars, and close proximity to the harbor. I was looking forward to being immersed in what I would hopefully at some point call home.

Well, you can count me out on the crap known as city living. Don’t get me wrong, Boston is probably my favorite city, but I have ZERO interest living here or spending more than eight hours in my job’s area. Continue reading

GMIM: Bracket update, names, and… a new podcast?!?

Welcome to another installment of Good mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…

Zach’s coin flip bracket update

lowest-final-score-college-basketball-game_ae9c9d6c50a82c18

If you read last week’s blog, you would know I have filled out my annual coin flip March Madness bracket. Here are some notes so far after the first weekend before we get into the Sweet 16: Continue reading

GMIM: Phones, Meals, and Automobiles

Welcome to another installment of Good mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…

Little housekeeping news for the Monday blog: I won’t be numbering them any more. Yes, riveting news, I know. Now back to the blog…

Nokia to bring back the 3310

It’s been news for a bit now, but the Finnish phone company is bringing back the iconic 3310.

Nokia-3310-poll-results-02.jpg

In a time where 90’s and early 2000’s nostalgia is gaining popularity, from movie and TV show reboots to horrible fashion, the time machine has finally picked up cell phones on it’s trip back to the future. Continue reading

GMIM #19: Mr. Oscar had quite the night

Welcome to another installment of Good mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…

Let’s talk about last night

When I masterfully created the concept of Good mourning, it’s Monday!, my vision was to write blogs that either distracted you, the reader, from your miserable day at work with either funny stories or my own misery you could relate to. I’ve ranted about the subway (won’t stop), I’ll be sure to write stories of my production to this planet (it’s not much), and we’ll be there together for all the screw ups in my life and others.

A massive screw up headlined the Academy Awards last night, but a big screw up was overshadowed. It puts the “mourning” in Good mourning, it’s Monday! Continue reading

GMIM # 17: I hate snow

Welcome to another installment of Good mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…

I hate snow. I hate winter. This sucks.

winter-snow-nature-animated-gif-8.gif

I’ve spent most of the winter shoveling snow with an old shovel because my snowblower was “broken.” Turns out, a small tube was detached and I could’ve saved my back from pain and suffering for two months. Continue reading

GMIM #16: The New England Patriots are Super Bowl Champs

Welcome to another installment of Good mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…

Today is a Pedialyte day, folks. The clock and sun say it’s the afternoon, but my body is telling me the day has just begun. So, good morning to you, reader. Continue reading

GMIM #15: Super Bowl picks

Welcome to another installment of Good mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…

Super Bowl LI

5a803951-08fc-44de-95c3-735b148ee28f

We sit six days away from what companies without rights call “The Big Game” and folks, it should be a doozie. As I’ve stated previously, I’m no football expert. I’m just your average shlub sitting in the office, writing for an audience of 16 people at best. So my opinion does not matter. Regardless, you’ll read it anyway and wonder, “geeze, who is Zach picking for the Super Bowl?” Well, allow me to dive right into the swimming pool of hot takes and uneducated predictions. Continue reading

GMIM#10: Christmas Hangover

Welcome to another installment of Good mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…

T’was the morning after Christmas, and all through the house. Not a creature was awake, not even……. I can’t think of a tacky poem for today. I’m not hungover, but sleepy as always on a Monday. Hope everyone enjoyed Christmas and is ready for reality once again. Enjoy the blog to make you forget about Mondays.

Top 5 Songs with the Saxophone

Continue reading

GMIM#9: Holiday Edition

Welcome to another installment of Good mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…

Steve Burns Finally Confirms Why He Left Blue’s Clues

58531f84120000c40beef91f

Source: So was a music career the real reason Steve left “Blue’s Clues”?

“That’s actually not true,” Burns told [The Huffington Post]. “No, no, no, no. People think I left the show to pursue a music career. That didn’t happen at all.”

Burns confirmed that getting older ― and, yes, losing his hair ― had a lot to do with his decision. Continue reading

Do women poop at work? An investigation

While sitting in my personal 12 x 10 office, I pondered an important issue that I believe needs to addressed: do women poop at work? I can say that most men, especially those paid hourly, take their sweet time on the porcelain throne. But even in my adult years, I still think about this issue and it’s bothersome. It’s time we solve one of the great mysteries of life. Let’s text some ladies in my phone… Continue reading