Zach’s Blog: Happy Saturday

Welcome to another edition of Zach’s Blog, a collection of random thoughts, stories, opinions, and whatever else comes from Zach’s brain and fingertips. These blogs range from hot fire takes that are purely satire, to insightful thoughts. It’s your job to determine which is what. With that, enjoy the blog…

Zach’s applicable quote for the weekend

“Beer is proof God loves us and wants us to be happy”

– Ben Franklin

–Not really what he said, but still a great quote.

–Zachary Gray

Going up to Branch & Blade Brewery Co. this evening. Great ole place with handsome beers and delicious beards.

CVS to change on hold music

Continue reading

Zach’s Blog: Let’s Catch Up

Hi you. Yes, you reader. I’m back. Again. Yes, another reintroduction. It’s like the boss of your boss’s boss who doesn’t remember your name, so you say “how’s it going” in passing. That’s how I’ve been keeping up with this blog. Now that football season is over and I have some me time at this very moment, let’s do some catching up.

Just a warning: this blog is going to come off more as a diary rather than an actual blog. So, apologies for the useless banter that’ll be taking place. I do finish with a short blog-like piece at the end of this, so enjoy… Continue reading

GMIM: It’s Gonna Be May

Welcome to another installment of Good Mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…

Clocking In 

Weather: On the cooler side
Traffic: I didn’t scream at anyone, so that was good
Breakfast: Glazed stick and small black coffee
Zach arrival time: Not late, I think

Monday Mourning Metaphor

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Dunkin Donuts debuts Cosmic Coolatta, attempt to win my heart over

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[Source] – Dunkin’ Donuts is launching a galaxy-inspired menu today full of two new Coolattas blended to look like nebulas and a donut covered in multi-colored popping candy that sounds truly out of this world.

Underneath, the Comet Candy Donut is a plain yeast donut with white icing but on top you’ll find an explosion of blue, purple and pink popping candy that taste like cotton candy.

In addition to the comet candy donut, there’s not just one, but two (!!!) different Cosmic Coolattas being released today. Each are a blend of two different flavors swirled together to create a nebula-like effect.

The Cosmic Cotton Candy Coolatta is a brand-new cotton candy flavored Coolatta topped off with Blue Raspberry, while the Cosmic Pineapple Coolatta is a blend of a new pineapple flavor with blue raspberry.

As a bonus, all small Coolattas in any flavor — including the new cotton candy and pineapple flavors—will be just $2 through May 27.

If you’ve been reading this blog on a regular basis, you’d know by now that I despise Starbucks and everything they stand for (bigotry, racism, capitalism, communism, slimeballery, etc). This hate I have doesn’t exactly mean I’m Team Dunkin, but this latest move might just reel me in like the stupid fish I am. Continue reading

GMIM: Christmas

Welcome to another installment of Good Mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…

Clocking In

Weather: 10, cold
Traffic: Christmas gifts are scattered
Breakfast: Coffee with coconut cream and sugar
Zach arrival time: 8:55 a.m. (a.k.a, when I woke up on couch)
Mornings without Starbucks: 245 (as of Monday)

Monday Mourning Metaphor

Toddler signals ‘help’ in sign language during photo with Santa

White Christmas is overrated

Monday was the first white Christmas in roughly nine years, which could be connected to our glorious leader’s charging defense against the assault on Christmas.

Anywho, when the weather report said snow was expected Monday, I was thinking it would be a lovely ole time, like in the movies and such. Here’s the deal though: as a kid, it’s great… but as a grown-up, not so much. Continue reading

GMIM: Back from Turkey Day

Welcome to another installment of Good Mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…

Clocking In

Weather: Cool, not terrible
Traffic: The ole’ “welcome back to work after a holiday” commute
Breakfast: Medium hot dark roast with a glazed stick (healthy morning)
Zach arrival time: Middle of the pack
Mornings without Starbucks: 217

Monday Mourning Metaphor

Did I curse Miami football?

If you read the previous blog, you saw the song of last week was the hot-fire-flames jam known as “Turnover Chain” from Solo D. I may or may not have hopped on the Miami bandwagon after they started 10-0 and trounced Virginia (ok, more like barely got by). I should have known they were in position to be upset by Pitt right after.

Let’s take a step back. I don’t have a favorite college football team because I went to a tiny fashion college whose biggest sports were soccer and rugby. So basically, I domestically studied abroad.

I had Boston College football season tickets for a couple of seasons, so I got watch exciting games against Maine and other community colleges. But I never had “my own” college football team.

So here we are. I need a favorite college football team for both Saturdays and when the Patriots eventually finally return to their 1990’s form. I’d go onto BuzzFeed and take a quiz, but I’m not a teenage girl. So instead, I’ll come up with my own questions and see where I land… Continue reading

GMIM: Easter is Coming

Welcome to another installment of Good mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…

My long-lasting feud with the Easter Bunny

Pictured above: douchebag

It’s Easter week, folks. Palm Sunday was yesterday, which means the state of Florida was lit. Lent technically ends on Thursday, Good Friday comes the day after, and then Easter finally arrives Sunday. Big, big week for all the Catholics out there.

I enjoy the food, helping kids hunt for plastic eggs filled with money or terrible Tootsie Rolls, coloring boiled eggs I’ll never eat, and dressing like a private school nerd. But for me, Easter is a reminder of my arch nemesis: The Easter Bunny. I admit, this might be one of the more ridiculous things I’ll put out there, but I assure you this is 100% true. This isn’t my sarcastic hot fire flames takes, my condescending analysis, or any other blog I put out there to grab a few laughs. This actually happened and I will stand by it as long as I live. Continue reading

GMIM: Cities suck, naps are great, and don’t talk to strangers

Welcome to another installment of Good mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…

City living is garbage

Yes, this is Chinese smog, I know.

Growing up 30 miles north of Boston, I always had a fascination with the city. I grew up in the suburbs with a large yard and plenty of street parking. There weren’t any woods, but I could smell the boarder of New Hampshire. It’s the ideal location; far enough from the city to have peace, but close enough to drive in for the day.

So when I started working in the city, I was excited for what was to come: tall buildings, restaurants, endless numbers of people walking around, trains, cars, and close proximity to the harbor. I was looking forward to being immersed in what I would hopefully at some point call home.

Well, you can count me out on the crap known as city living. Don’t get me wrong, Boston is probably my favorite city, but I have ZERO interest living here or spending more than eight hours in my job’s area. Continue reading

GMIM: Bracket update, names, and… a new podcast?!?

Welcome to another installment of Good mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…

Zach’s coin flip bracket update

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If you read last week’s blog, you would know I have filled out my annual coin flip March Madness bracket. Here are some notes so far after the first weekend before we get into the Sweet 16: Continue reading

GMIM: Phones, Meals, and Automobiles

Welcome to another installment of Good mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…

Little housekeeping news for the Monday blog: I won’t be numbering them any more. Yes, riveting news, I know. Now back to the blog…

Nokia to bring back the 3310

It’s been news for a bit now, but the Finnish phone company is bringing back the iconic 3310.

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In a time where 90’s and early 2000’s nostalgia is gaining popularity, from movie and TV show reboots to horrible fashion, the time machine has finally picked up cell phones on it’s trip back to the future. Continue reading

GMIM #19: Mr. Oscar had quite the night

Welcome to another installment of Good mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…

Let’s talk about last night

When I masterfully created the concept of Good mourning, it’s Monday!, my vision was to write blogs that either distracted you, the reader, from your miserable day at work with either funny stories or my own misery you could relate to. I’ve ranted about the subway (won’t stop), I’ll be sure to write stories of my production to this planet (it’s not much), and we’ll be there together for all the screw ups in my life and others.

A massive screw up headlined the Academy Awards last night, but a big screw up was overshadowed. It puts the “mourning” in Good mourning, it’s Monday! Continue reading

GMIM #18: 50 Shades Darker review

Welcome to another installment of Good mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…

Am I a miserable person for wanting the subway voice to be miserable in the morning?

As I do every morning heading to work, I hopped on the subway and rode the mobile hunk of metal like a sardine traveling to the supermarket in a vacuumed-packed can on board an 18-wheeler. I’m tired, I’m struggling to keep my eyes open, and I want to sleep; everyone around me is the same way. But it happens that one person is alive and well: the subway driver. Now, I do always hope the driver is awake, that way we don’t crash and burn (although that doesn’t seem like a bad idea on some days), but I cannot handle an overly joyous driver who goes over the intercom to lighten up our mornings.

“GOOOOOOD morning passengers and welcome aboard the Orange Line! Our next stop is Haymarket. There you will find city hall, Faneuil Hall, and the harbor. We thank you for riding the T and wish you a splendid day!”

My reaction: Continue reading

GMIM # 17: I hate snow

Welcome to another installment of Good mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…

I hate snow. I hate winter. This sucks.

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I’ve spent most of the winter shoveling snow with an old shovel because my snowblower was “broken.” Turns out, a small tube was detached and I could’ve saved my back from pain and suffering for two months. Continue reading

Do women poop at work? An investigation

While sitting in my personal 12 x 10 office, I pondered an important issue that I believe needs to addressed: do women poop at work? I can say that most men, especially those paid hourly, take their sweet time on the porcelain throne. But even in my adult years, I still think about this issue and it’s bothersome. It’s time we solve one of the great mysteries of life. Let’s text some ladies in my phone… Continue reading