Zach’s Blog: I’m getting sued (I think)

It’s time for another rebrand

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As you may or may not have noticed, it’s yet again not Monday, and I haven’t published a blog since July 24. I have a list of excuses: work, time, family, friends, alcohol. But reality is I’ve been prioritizing everything else but my blog. The podcast? HA! That’s been on the back-burner for over a year. It’s like the gym for me: I get all excited, stay consistent for a few weeks, and then drop off and gain 25lbs. So with that, we’re changing this from “Good Mourning, It’s Monday” to “Zach’s Blog.” Why? Because GMIM looks awkward and no one would ever say the full name. “Zach’s Blog” though? Short and sweet, and I imagine my mother or one of the other seven people who read this to say “Did you read ‘Zach’s Blog’ today? What a sweet little boy.” Plus, you can replace Drake’s “God’s Plan” lyrics with the blog name.

“Sometimes I write, sometimes I don’t…”

Anywho, I’ll still be writing about stupid stories I find, personal experiences, and anything to make you the reader either think or giggle like a school girl. There may be several blogs a week in shorter form, or big ones once a week as a weekly read. Who knows, because I certainly don’t.

Hope you enjoy, folks.

I thought I was being sued, but turns out I was being scammed

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A couple weeks ago, I got a strange email with the subject line “Unlicensed Use of Agence France-Presse Imagery – Reference Number: 6519-4278-2604” and didn’t think anything of it. Few days later, I checked back on it to find I was being sued. Well, sued might be a little strong. Basically, I had used a picture of Nick Foles in my post-Super Bowl blog that was apparently from Getty or whatever source. Continue reading

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GMIM: First Monday of March

Welcome to another installment of Good Mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…

Clocking In

Weather: Cold and windy
Traffic: I was too tired to know how shitty it was
Breakfast: Sausage, egg, & cheese on a multigrain bagel, and a large dark roast (thin mint, two cream, one sugar)
Zach arrival time: 9:28 a.m. EST
Mornings without Starbucks: 322

Monday Mourning Metaphor

Me vs Mondays:

I refuse to pay for Spotify: MY COLUMN

Picture this: it’s Friday. Later afternoon in the office and the week is winding down. Projects are being finished, and some work is being pushed back as far as possible to avoid until Monday. Because it’s Friday, Zach has his world-famous playlist playing on his laptop speakers: Funk Fridays. Folks, if you haven’t gotten down with Funk Fridays yet, you haven’t lived. A little “Flashlight,” maybe some James Brown, or even a bit of Rick James never hurt nobody.

Anywho, the music is going and what comes on after three songs? An advertisement. Now I’m no ad junky, but I know it’s the price you pay in order to enjoy a little free music. I’ve had a Spotify account for five years now, and I’ve come to phase out the 20 Ziprecruiter  advertisements much like a degenerate, alcoholic father tunes out his children on a Wednesday night. But my coworkers? Nope, they’re crying like their drunk daddy won’t play Legos with them in their bedroom. So what’s my response? Increase the volume to drown out their crying. Continue reading

GMIM: Miami

Welcome to another installment of Good Mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…

Clocking In (on Monday)

Weather: 74, sunny
Traffic: Easy walk to the beach
Breakfast: Buffet
Zach arrival time: When God shined His light upon thee
Mornings without Starbucks: 238

Clocking In (Today)

Weather: Cold and sucks
Traffic: Probably sucked
Breakfast: Nope
Zach arrival time: Whenever the dog started barking
Mornings without Starbucks: 239

Monday Mourning Metaphor

 

Let’s talk about my Monday

So I had myself a little business trip to Miami (pronounced ME-ah-me)… you may have heard of it. As I said last week, it was the first time I’ve ever flown alone, and my first time flying in 12 years.

Trip was a success and learned a lot. Like, the beach is so much better down south. Or, Miami is lowkey a terrible place.

Although the weekend was eventful, my Monday was probably the most Monday of them all. Allow me to explain… Continue reading

GMIM: Hanukkah Season

Welcome to another installment of Good Mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…

Clocking In

Weather: Post-snow cold-ass breeze
Traffic: Pleasantly not horrible
Breakfast: Large hot caramel latte
Zach arrival time: Late enough for people to notice me walk in, but not too late that people say, “Thanks for joining us!” like an asshole
Mornings without Starbucks: 231

Monday Mourning Metaphor

When you befriend your co-workers over the weekend, but then hit you with some shit on Monday…

Should I convert to Judaism?

If you’ve been following this blog on a weekly basis, you would know that it’s been pumpkin then Christmas season in a matter of a week. Well, I’m happy to inform you it is now Hanukkah season. Well, not fully.

You see, I’m not Jewish. I’ve never celebrated Hanukkah in my life, but the influx of Jewish coworkers has sparked my interest. Do my motives not align with the true reasons to covert to a certain religion? Perhaps not. But I’ll make my case and see where we end up. Continue reading

GMIM: Thanksgiving / Late Edition

Welcome to another installment of Good Mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…

Clocking In

Weather: Rainy
Traffic: N/A
Breakfast: French toast
Zach arrival time: When I woke up
Mornings without Starbucks: 210 as of Monday

Monday Mourning Metaphor

When you get a promotion, but clearly aren’t qualified:

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First Thing’s First…

Yes, I know it’s Wednesday. But that’s what happens when you work all day Sunday, work the Monday before Thanksgiving, end up getting a cold by the end of the day, work through a cold Tuesday, and eventually work from home Wednesday. So yes, today isn’t Monday. You and I know this, but we’ll act like it’s not a big deal (because it isn’t). Continue reading

GMIM: White people at it again

Welcome to another installment of Good Mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…

Clocking In

Weather: 35, cloudy
Traffic: (See below)
Breakfast: Veggie egg-white flatbread, medium hot coffee
Zach arrival time: Not late
Mornings without Starbucks: 203

Monday Mourning Metaphor

Drove by a moving dumpster fire this morning…

Honorary metaphor goes to this highlight from last night’s Sunday Night Football game. Was going to use that, but got beat out. Oh whale…

Capitalist slime-pigs attempt to deceive me

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[Source: Washington Post] – After years of trying to win over lunch and dinner crowds, Starbucks is preparing to open its first stand-alone Italian restaurant.

The company is teaming up with Princi, a small chain of 24-hour bakeries in Milan and London, to offer customers freshly made items including focaccia sandwiches, margherita pizzas and tiramisu. The first stage of the partnership will debut Tuesday, when Starbucks opens a Princi bakery in its upscale Reserve Roastery in Seattle. The company plans to eventually open bakeries inside all of its Reserve locations, and next year hopes to open stand-alone Princi eateries across the country. The openings will be in New York, Seattle and Chicago.

“We’re getting into the food business,” Howard Schultz, the chairman of Starbucks, said in an interview. “Princi will be fully integrated with bakery operations, so not only will we be roasting coffee, but we’ll be baking bread, pastries — the kind of Italian pastries you’ve never seen in America.

But this isn’t the first time Starbucks has pinned its hopes on a stand-alone bakery. In 2012, the company paid $100 million for La Boulange, a San Francisco-based company with 23 stores. Starbucks had high hopes then, too, with plans to open about 400 new locations in five years.

But it didn’t take long for those plans to fall flat. Three years later, Starbucks said it would be closing its La Boulange bakeries because they were “not sustainable for the company’s long-term growth.”

Well, well, well… if it isn’t my old nemesis trying to pull a fast one on me. They must’ve gotten word I celebrated 200 days without Starbucks and devised a plan to win me back. Continue reading

GMIM: Merry Christmas?

Welcome to another installment of Good Mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…

Clocking In

Weather: Warm
Traffic: Construction and roads filled with people confused about daylight savings time
Breakfast: Crumb muffin and a french vanilla iced coffee
Zach arrival time: Not the last one in, so that’s good
Mornings without Starbucks: 196

Monday Mourning Metaphor

Update: Pumpkin season is over… Happy Holidays! Seasons greetings!

If you read last week’s blog, you would know I’ve been struggling with my eventual departure from pumpkin season. I still have a half-dozen pumpkin beers in the fridge, cabinets full of pumpkin muffin mix, and a few pumpkin candles lying around the house. Well, it looks like I need to throw all of it out, because it’s time to celebrate Christmas. Continue reading