I came into the office with positive vibes. “Take On Me” was blasting in my headphones on my way to work and it’s the perfect temperature outside. I got off the train and witnessed a woman vomitting into a trashcan, but I didn’t let that ruin my day.

HOWEVAAAAA…. I come into the office and what do I see? This horrific scene below. [WARNING: NSFW]



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GMIM: Patriots Day

Welcome to another installment of Good mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…

The Marathon Monday All-‘Murica Team

Here in Massachusetts, we observe the third Monday of April as a state holiday called Patriots Day. It’s a good old time, especially if you’re a college student along the Boston Marathon route getting drunk at 8 a.m.  You know, responsible actions that’ll land you a job a few months later after graduation.

The Boston Marathon isn’t the Super Bowl or World Cup, but it’s a feel-good day for Bostonians to celebrate the state that invented America. It could be argued that the marathon itself is an analogy of the American Dream: a group of individuals from nations across the globe pushing their own limits to reach their goals and celebrate all that is good with the land of the free.

On this day every year as well, the Boston Red Sox play their 11 a.m. Patriots Day game. It is truly a perfect day drinking experience for sports-goers. But while watching this game, a couple of my favorite pitchers came in to toss the ol’ leather for Boston. Why are they my favorite? Athletic ability? Personal story? Morals? No, it’s none of those. These players’ physical appearances embody what it means to be overly American. They look like true ‘Muricans: overweight, un-groomed, and free living manly men. We’ll get to them later.

Without further delay, here is the All-‘Murican Patriots Day Team (Note, this is cross-sport and does not have any true structure. You know, the ‘Murican way): Continue reading