A historic achievement: 100 mornings without Starbucks


During mankind’s biggest events throughout history, we tend to ask ourselves and others where we were at that moment. I was in my friend’s dorm room when President Obama announced that Osama Bin Laden was killed. Last year, I watched the Cubs win its first World Series in over 100 years in my girlfriend’s living room. When Harry Potter and the Cursed Child was published last year, I was most likely napping because I don’t give a damn about those wizarding nerds. Today is one of those days: I’ve gone 100 mornings without Starbucks.

April 23 was supposed to be a normal Sunday in the office. It was also the final day of Starbucks week-long promotion of the Unicorn Frappuccino. I needed to try this cup of frozen fairy vomit just to say I did in fact have one. The ‘Bucks below my office had just opened up, so I was sure to get a fresh blend of the good stuff. Problem was, they “ran out” of the ingredients. Reasonable, sure, but disappointing nonetheless. But lo and behold, not even 10 minutes later, a coworker comes in the office with a Unicorn Frappuccino…from the Starbucks downstairs. From that moment on, I knew it was my calling to declare war on those Seattle-based capitalists slime-pigs. Continue reading

GMIM: Coffee, Hockey, and Steve

Welcome to another installment of Good mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…

Starbucks vs Me

Yesterday morning, I get into the office a little early. First and foremost, early in the office on a Sunday is the working man’s move. Early bird gets the worm, but the hawk eats the little bird. Or something like that.

Anywho, I figured I’d stop at the Starbucks downstairs to grab some morning caffeine to get my Sunday started. It’s been out for a little, but the Unicorn Frappuccino advertisement was just staring at me from the behind the counter and figured “why not?” I’ll give it a try, see what the buzz is about.


So I head up and ask for one of these cups of fairy vomit and I’m told, “Sorry, we’re out of the stuff needed for it.” Understandable. These stupid things have been flying off the shelves left and right. The Starbucks back home had a sign saying the Unicorns had gone extinct. So with that, I get the usual Venti Caramel Macchiato.

I get to the office, sit down, and a co-worker asks if anyone wants anything from the ‘Bucks. Only 10 minutes later, he comes up with a hot coffee and a UNICORN FRAPPUCCINO, the exact drink they “didn’t have the ingredients for.” Continue reading