A historic achievement: 100 mornings without Starbucks


During mankind’s biggest events throughout history, we tend to ask ourselves and others where we were at that moment. I was in my friend’s dorm room when President Obama announced that Osama Bin Laden was killed. Last year, I watched the Cubs win its first World Series in over 100 years in my girlfriend’s living room. When Harry Potter and the Cursed Child was published last year, I was most likely napping because I don’t give a damn about those wizarding nerds. Today is one of those days: I’ve gone 100 mornings without Starbucks.

April 23 was supposed to be a normal Sunday in the office. It was also the final day of Starbucks week-long promotion of the Unicorn Frappuccino. I needed to try this cup of frozen fairy vomit just to say I did in fact have one. The ‘Bucks below my office had just opened up, so I was sure to get a fresh blend of the good stuff. Problem was, they “ran out” of the ingredients. Reasonable, sure, but disappointing nonetheless. But lo and behold, not even 10 minutes later, a coworker comes in the office with a Unicorn Frappuccino…from the Starbucks downstairs. From that moment on, I knew it was my calling to declare war on those Seattle-based capitalists slime-pigs. Continue reading

GMIM: The Carlton, Dunkirk, and shopping scams

Welcome to another installment of Good mourning, it’s Monday! This weekly blog looks to cover various topics in the news, along with personal stories or encounters from the past week at home and work to help you through your first day back at work (unless you don’t work). Hopefully my seven followers like this and share this to make it eight. Enjoy…

Is The Carlton the greatest dance in television history?


So the other night, the girlfriend and I had the TV on prior to going na-nights. She prefers to fall asleep with it on, while I would rather not burn my eyeballs out before falling asleep. I usually lose that battle, but I promise you, I will win the war.

Anywho, we throw on Nick at Nite* and playing is Fresh Prince. We jump in the middle of Season 2, Episode 24, a.k.a. “Striptease for Two” from May 4, 1992 to see Alfonso Ribeiro on stage in front of a large number of middle-aged women. He gets into a Chippendale’s-esque routine that is cut short by Ribeiro’s TV mom. Kicking off the routine, however is the familiar swaying of his arms left to right and right to left, with the rest of his body following along. Yes, it’s Carlton Banks’ signature dance, simply known as “The Carlton.” Continue reading